china_ilfandomcom-20200215-history
Life Coaches
" |image = LifeCoach.png |caption = The History Department and Baby Cakes become life coaches for one another. |director = Angelo Hatgistavrou |writer = Brad Neely |date = May 31, 2015 |starring = * Baby Cakes * Frank * Pony * Steve |prev = "Displays of Manhood" |next = "Gummie World"}} "Life Coaches" is the eighth episode of Season 3 and the twenty-eighth episode of China, IL. Summary Steve, Frank, Pony and Baby Cakes become life coaches for each other as the Dean tries to improve his checkers game. Plot As the Dean gripes upon losing a checkers game with the Mayor, Steve tries to break up with Quimberly, his girlfriend of roughly two weeks. Later, to Baby Cakes and Frank, Pony mentions the possibility of their and Steve's becoming each other's life coaches, giving advice to one another. Later, when Steve gives haphazard advice, Pony assumes that it means she should check a therapist despite Steve trying to disprove her claim. Though she pretends to be taking it well, she voices her true, negative emotion toward this as she tries to counsel Frank. As a first step, she destroys his hoard house, hoping to make him be perceived as cooler than Steve as Frank requests. Learning that Baby Cakes defecates in potted plants, Frank insists that Baby Cakes cease, but Baby Cakes claims that the defecation is necessary to keep a "horrible villain," the Easter Bunny, away from the school. Feeling the need that someone should take his place, Baby Cakes pressures Steve to take his place in this activity lest the Easter Bunny appear. Meanwhile, after losing a game of checkers to the Mayor, the Dean sneaks into Matt's room and sedates him, taking his brain afterward. Entering Leonard's laboratory, the Dean evaluates the brain but doesn't find anything in Matt's knowledge that will help him with checkers. Meanwhile, Pony visits a therapist, speaking negatively of Steve, but the therapists feels this may be due to the death of her early husband and that she's not properly dealing with her grief over this. Exiting after her appointment ends, she advises Frank to get his hair cut and his beard shaved. Steve proceeds toward a potted plant ready to defecate but then decides to use the restroom, certain that Baby Cakes won't find out as the Dean searches for potential targets whose brains contain checkers knowledge. Walking out, Steve finds the Easter Bunny appearing out of thin air, and when it sees a potted plant free from excrement, it runs amok around campus. At night, the Dean walks around, carrying all the brains he harvested and complaining that none of them contain anything that will help his checkers game. As the Dean harvests Quimberly's brain and gets the same results, Leonard creates synthetic brains for the victims of the Dean's brain spree. Meanwhile, Pony continues ranting about Steve to her therapist, but she's taken to a mental hospital when it seems once more that she's hiding her grief over her husband's death. Frank visits the History Channel's headquarters, seeking a TV special under its name, but the interview is interrupted by the Easter Bunny, who continues running amok as Baby Cakes and Steve chase after it. Afterward, the Dean is informed that the checkers rematch with the Mayor is the next day. He reveals that he now knows checkers thanks to one person's brain—the Mayor's—and in a mental asylum, Pony's stay is interrupted by the Easter Bunny, whom she promptly attacks. Her exclamations show that, deep down, she really does grieve the loss of her husband, admitting that she married him too early in life, but still misses him nonetheless. Baby Cakes and the Smiths arrive to witness the attack and her confession, surprised faces all around. In a canoe, the four carry the Easter Bunny, ready to dump it. Steve confesses to Pony that his real advice for her is to leave the school and town, and that the reason he didn't tell her is because he never wants to lose her. As she sulks, the others dump the Easter Bunny in the lake, and afterward, the Dean arrives with a mentally-handicapped Mayor, ready for the rematch. Baby Cakes and the Smiths go for a walk and see this game, and while Steve prepares to talk with Quimberly, the Dean is just about to make the winning move. Jesus Christ descends from heaven, wondering where the Easter Bunny went as it's his friend. Following a white lie from Pony, who apparently is staying in China despite Steve's advice, Jesus prepares for departure to find his friend, but beforehand, he gives everyone affected their brains back and gives everyone on campus free food and drinks. As the Mayor wins the rematch due to this, Quimberly breaks up with Steve, overcoming her apparent mentally-challenged phase. Shaking it off as the Power of Christ, Steve notices Pony's decision to stay, and the two enter a skirmish as to whether or not friends should make decisions for each other. Trivia * Frank mentions wanting a History Channel special, which he previously mentioned wanting in "Baby Boom" and "The Diamond Castle". In this episode, Frank, after getting a makeover, visits the History Channel's headquarters, but the Easter Bunny's rampage cuts the interview short. * Pony reveals she had a husband named Johnny, who died. Johnny and Pony married just after high school to Pony's regret, as Pony claims Johnny's death brought her relief, although she concedes that she misses Johnny. * After attacking the Easter Bunny, Pony claims "she's a brown widow." Whether or not this was a joke at the term "black widow" or a revelation of her last name remains uncertain. * Steve claims to date women for two weeks each, which explains his vast number of sexual relations from "Displays of Manhood". * The Easter Bunny, during his rampage, runs past a bulletin board containing flyers about defecation into potted plants, as well as informing about a Dungeons & Dragons game and Pony's ban from the game, the ban beginning in "Displays of Manhood". * Frank is shown to be a hoarder until Pony burns down his hoard house. * The beginning of the episode foreshadows the events toward the end of the episode; except the introduction and the last few minutes of the episode, the episode is a flashback, the flashback ending with the dumping of the Easter Bunny. * This episode satirizes Chris Brown's history involving violence toward women. As a running gag, the main characters of the episode frequently compare one another to Brown. Near the end of the episode, a lie from Pony deceives Jesus Christ into thinking Brown is responsible for the Easter Bunny's death. Goofs * In the scene where Baby Cakes, Frank and Steve break Pony out of the padded cell, Baby Cakes is seen wearing clothes. Cut to the boat scene, and he is naked once again. Quotes :Steve: Got to stop dating people for their looks. ---- :Baby Cakes: I try not to look up so I won't break the fourth wall of God's TV. ---- :Frank: Chris Brown is a cannibal who eats people in parked cars. ---- :Easter Bunny: Yes! Finally, there ain't no caca! This territory is mine! ---- :Steve: No, I screwed up—somehow. ---- :Easter Bunny: the school with its eggs Territory marked! Territory marked! ---- :Quimberly: Organic? :The Dean: Checkers? ---- :The Dean: Don't judge a brain by its cover! ---- :The Dean: Quimberly's brain No checkers? Is this a game that no one plays? ---- :Frank: You're still just a lobotomized Shrek. ---- :Easter Bunny rampages through UCI. :Flip Flop: brain in action Easter Bunny! Laughs :egg hits Baby Cakes. :Baby Cakes: Steve, you dumb motherfucker! ---- :Pony: Thought police! Thought police! ---- :Steve: Frank, I didn't shit right! ---- :Pony: the Easter Bunny You die! :Easter Bunny: Please stop! :Pony: Fuck you! Fuck you! I will fucking kill you! and tearing up This world sucks—Easter Bunnies and dead husbands! Die, you fucking Easter Bunny! Die like my dead husband; die like Johnny! I was relieved when Johnny died; I got married to him way too quick! I felt guilty for feeling like this for so long! pauses as she ceases her attacks. I do miss him, though. :Baby Cakes: witnessed the beating Oh, she's a Chris Brown. :Pony: No, I'm a brown widow. ---- :Matt: brain in action Checkers is dumb game! ---- :Frank: I cannot believe the Easter Bunny is real. :Baby Cakes: Hey, sometimes a thing is; it just isn't to you. Characters Appearing * Anne Hong * Baby Cakes * Billy * Chris Brown * Cinn-a-Mon * Cravid * Debra * Easter Bunny * Flip Flop * Frank * God (mentioned) * Gwen * Jesus Christ * Kim * Leonard * Leslie * Matt * Mr. Attack * Mrs. Attack * Pemsy * Pony * Quimberly * Spider * Stacy Megan * Steve * Sunshine * Sweater Beard * The Dean * The Mayor * Trouble Bubble * White Angus Gallery Leadin.png|The introduction of the episode foreshadows the ominous aftermath of an apparent, unexpected turn of events. MayorGloat.png|The Mayor gloats about his victory in a checkers game against the Dean. SQBreakup.png|Steve tires of his and Quimberly's relationship. Coaches.png|Pony suggests that she, Baby Cakes, and the Smiths become life coaches for each other. Pressure.png|While under pressure from Pony, Steve gives the teacher's assistant a forced bit of advice. Flames.png|In an attempt to better Frank's life, Pony destroys Frank's hoard house. EBDrawing.png|Baby Cakes warns Frank about the Easter Bunny, whom the former thinks is a villain. BCConvince.png|Forced to cease his abnormal defecating, Baby Cakes tries to convince Steve to defecate into the plants. BrainHunt.png|The Dean begins his brain-collecting spree so he can defeat the Mayor. Therapy.png|Misinterpreting Steve's rushed advice, Pony visits a therapist. Haircut.png|Frank gets a shave and a haircut. Disobey.png|Steve disobeys Baby Cakes' order to defecate in a potted plant. EB.png|Because of Steve's disobedience, the Easter Bunny pays an unwanted, chaotic visit. BrainHunt2.png|The Dean's brain spree resumes. Nude.png|Baby Cakes attends a class nude. Therapy2.png|While venting about Steve, Pony coaches Frank via text. Therapy3.png|Thought to be mentally unstable, Pony is taken to an insanity department. EBHunt.png|The chase for the Easter Bunny continues. BrainHunt3.png|Hoping to gain a victory, the Dean captures the Mayor's brain. Therapy4.png|While beating up the Easter Bunny, Pony unveils her true, repressed feelings toward an early, failed marriage. EBDump.png|The Smiths, Baby Cakes, and Pony dump the severely-injured, yet still alive, Easter Bunny into a lake. Christ.png|Concerned about the Easter Bunny, Jesus Christ visits UCI. MayorGloat2.png|The Mayor, after regaining his brain, wins the checkers rematch against the Dean. QuimberlyOnTop.png|Quimberly ends her relationship with Steve after regaining her brain. Category:Episodes Category:Season 3